Love is Never Easy
by BrittanaHeYa Ftw
Summary: Basically just what I think might have happened after the hurt locker. Heavy Brittana angst


**A/N Just a little fic about what might have happened post Hurt Locker, It's my very first Brittana fic so be nice and any reviews are appreciated**

This feeling of powerlessness was new to Santana, and she did not enjoy the feeling one bit. She was used to feeling strong and confident, getting whatever she wanted, and most of all being in control. But that all changed when she realised that she was in love with her best friend, one Brittany S. Pierce. They had been best friends for as long as Santana could remember, since a very young age, and they had been inseperable never spending more than a day apart. But Santana knew that was about to change, and knowing there was nothing she could do to stop it from happening, was the worst and most scared she had ever felt in her life.

Santana had never planned for this to happen, after all Brittany was just another notch on her bedpost, or so she thought. But not even Santana could have seen this coming, nobody can guess when and who they fall in love with, it just happens and it's nothing that anybody can control or stop. And what surprises her the most is the fact that it took seeing Brittany with somebody else to make her realise how she felt about Brittany. So she took the leap and told Brittany that she loved her, and that she was the only one for her, only to be rejected in favour of someone else. It cut through her heart like a knife, she was so used to getting everything but the one thing she wanted most in this world, didn't want her and that hurt more than anything else.

Santana went straight home after that, not even stopping for Mr. Shue, who had seen how upset she looked and had stopped walking to ask if she was okay. She just waved him away and continued walking to the school parking lot. When Santana arrived home she ran straight up to her bedroom, completly ignoring her parents ``hi honey, how was school?``. She locked herself into her room and fell on to the bed in a fit of tears, it was now only really sinking in that Brittany had rejected her in favour of Artie. The latina's mind was racing, full of thoughts of the blonde girl, and things she had said that Santana thought meant Brittany wanted to be with her.

She thought about the time Mr. Shue had given them the duets assignment earlier in the year. Britt had wanted them to sing a duet together ``Come To My Window`` she whispers croakly, by Melissa Etheridge she remembers. And Brittany was the one who had wanted them to talk to Miss Holiday about their "relationship", because she was confused about what they were to each other. ``She said she loved me, but she chose Artie`` the latina says choking back her tears. She picked up her phone, opened a blank message and typed one word, "Why?", she entered Britt's number and was about to hit send but something stopped her. Did she really want to know why Brittany rejected her, and have her heart smashed to pieces twice in one day? ``What if she doesn't love me the way I love her`` she says silently to herself. She threw the phone back on the bed, curled up into a ball and cried herself to sleep thinking of Brittany.

After she had watched Santana walk away, Brittany just stood at her locker trying to work out in her mind what had just happened. ``Did that just really happen?`` she said quietly to herself. Brittany was suddenly pulled from her thoughts by the voice of the person she rejected Santana for, Artie. She looked down at Artie with a blank expression on her face, her mind racing with the thoughts of what had just transpired. ``Hey Brittany, are you okay?`` Artie asks with a look of concern on his face. ``What? ye...yeah I'm okay... I think, what's up?`` Artie pauses ``good, because I was wondering if you wanna go to the mall with me now? I have to get some new shoes``. Brittany thinks for a minute, then says ``I'm sorry Artie but I have to go home, Lord Tubbington gets mad at me if I dont bring him cigars straight after school, but maybe we could go tomorrow instead?`` And with that, the blonde walked away from him and out of the school, and started her journey home.

When Brittany finally arrived home, she greeted her parents with a quick hello and headed straight for her bedroom. She closed the bedroom door, sat on the floor with her back against it, pulled her knees up to her chest and started crying like she had never done before. At first she felt guilt for hurting Santana the way she did, guilt slowly changed to hate for rejecting the latina the way she did, and eventually the guilt and the hate turned to heartbreak. She had gotten her wish, she wanted to be with Santana and she had wanted her to admit her real feelings, ``so why didn't I just say yes, and be with her?`` she asked herself, choking back tears. Brittany already knew the answer, she could'nt just dump Artie and go be with Santana, that would be cruel and Brittany is not a cruel person. Although she wanted nothing more than to finally be with Santana, she also knew the latina would not have been ready for people to know about them, and especially that Santana was gay, and Brittany does not want to be kept a secret.

She slowly picks herself up off the floor and walks towards the bed and sits on the edge, trying to stop the tears from falling. Just as the blonde had dried her last tear, she spotted a photograph in a handmade frame on the locker beside her bed. It was a photo of herself and Santana at the beach, on a normal sunny day, hugging each other closely and with the biggest smiles on both their faces. ``We were so happy that day it was like nobody else existed, just me and you, together and happy, when did everything get so complicated?`` Brittany whispered to the photo, hoping to get an answer or advice telling her what to do next. All she knew was that things had changed between her and the latina these past few months, they had been drifting apart for sometime now and Brittany feared she had lost her best friend for good after today's events.

Brittany took her phone out of her bag, opened a blank message and began to type "hey San, I am so so sorry for what happened at school today. I know you must hate me right now and I totally understand why, but you have to understand that I couldn't just break up with Artie it would have been wrong. I am so proud of you for telling me how you feel, I have waited so long to hear those words from you and it made me so happy. I know you didn't get the answer you expected, but I really do love you and I meant what I said I'm so your's proudly so. I miss you, I miss my best friend. Please text me back. P.S. Lord Tubbington says hi :) Love, Duckie". She hit send and hoped and prayed Santana would text back, but after a few hours and no reply Brittany curled up into a ball on the bed and cried herself to sleep thinking of Santana and how much she had hurt her.


End file.
